Like most people, we like to drown out the existential thoughts of human mortality through the purchasing of shiny new objects. Most farms do this through the slow accumulation of broken-down machinery. Unfortunately, I’m a really bad farmer who likes tech more than tractors, so here at Snowy Brook Farm we instead went the route of installing a PoE security camera network across the farm.
No, we’re not worried about burglars sneaking onto the farm to steal our debt (and this is your annual reminder that crime rates are 1/3rd of what they were 30 years ago). Rather, it’s important to remember that we live on a farm. Do you know what kind of crazy/stupid/awesome stuff happens on a farm when nobody’s looking? No? Well let’s review the film and find out!
Goose vs FEDEX
A 2021 poll performed by YouGov (B+ pollster, +0.8 Dem bias) found that only 71% of men believed they could 1v1 a goose. This man was clearly in the 29%. We have since put up a fence to keep the wraith of the goose contained, but should you ever find yourself stranded on an island with a goose and no place to hide, please be aware that yes… you can beat a goose in a fight. It’s just a goose…
Accidents HAppen
We here at Snowy Brook Farm believe that worker safety is paramount towards employee retention, and 24/7 monitoring allows for immediate action/assignment of blame should an accident occur.
All employees were unharmed in the filming of this video. The same cannot be said for the eggs.
Digging Timelapse with funny music added
This was for the ground loop install to service our ground-source heat pump.
Other notable achievements of the cameras include:
-Provided a live feed for Amy to confirm I have not gotten all the chickens killed while she’s on a business trip.
-Tracked down Circles the Blind Goose as he circled his way into a ditch during a monsoon.
-Tracked George, Chicken of the Jungle, as he wandered aimlessly back to the wrong farm.
-Captured an image of the Blue SUV that stole our Biden sign so that we could chuckle and stereotype all blue SUV owners henceforth.
-Created lots of beautiful timelapses of scenic sunrises for a week until the gig got old.
-Created enough content for me to create a post about them and fulfill my monthly Life in the Coop quota.
If this entire post seems like a list of after-the-fact justifications for my decision to invest in the camera network, you’re right! That was your poor decision to read a post titled “Security Cameras” on a farm blog 😉